Website

I bought myself a URL the other day: www.landerson.co.uk

I've tried to figure out how to use a simple stylesheet to make the site look slightly prettier than it would otherwise - I'm fairly happy with the result!

I thought it would be good to have for the distant future, when I might have a literary CV or portfolio of sorts to put online.

Had a nice, relaxing weekend - I didn't get much writing done, but I did think of a few ideas I like for short films. Happy enough with that, for the moment!

I also started a new writing blog, which I've linked to on my website. It's at: www.landerson.co.uk/blog. I think I might make it a more "professional" blog than this one, which is fairly private and generally full of my ramblings rather than anything else. I dunno...

A link for the search engines only: Laura Anderson

Screenwriting Course

I thought I'd post the URL to the Uni course on here:
Napier Screenwriting MA

And a little about the reasons for Napier running this course, and why I decided it would be a good idea to apply there:
Screen Academy Network

I'm definitely getting more excited now. I have sent off for an application pack for the Career Development Loan. It sounds strangely complicated... you're only allowed to pay 80% of your fees with the loan, but you're allowed to take up to £8000 as a loan, so how can they tell that you're paying 20% of your fees with your own money? I don't get it, and the woman from the RBS couldn't explain it - hopefully the pack will.

Also, can get a student account again! The joy of interest free overdrafts. Though I can't get a student account from the Royal Bank of Scotland - they only class you as a student if your course is 2 years long! Actually, they were generally rubbish at the RBS and hopefully I'll not need to get involved with them apart from getting the loan and opening a basic account for it to go into. I wish HBOS were part of the CDL scheme, it would make life easier.

Still not heard anything about the possibility of going part time at my current job. I'm trying not to worry about it - I'm too worried about loans, council tax and free time to worry about anything else - but it's niggling away at the back of my brain, like a demented worm.

Not sure whether or not to work on the radio play or the pirate script this weekend. I definitely want to write for a bit. My initial feelings of grand motivation after the radio workshop two weeks ago have faded slightly, and I'm just not sure I like my idea for the radio play any more. I suppose it would be stupid not to enter it though, at this stage.

Yesterday I was thinking that at work just now I'm a "Jack of all trades, Master of none" and I started worrying that I am in fact, mediocre. But then I decided that if I have a MA I can call myself a Master! Can I? Do you think?

Goddamn, I want to be a full time writer. I want to work from home and be my own boss, and to never have to make anyone else a cup of coffee ever, ever again.

Pirates!

So now that I'm feeling more upbeat and generally positive about my future, I've turned to thinking about writing another script.

This started on Saturday when I was in a film for my friend Paul... He needed someone to play a cafe owner, and didn't have anyone. I was roped in and had to get up at 6am on Saturday to do it! It was actually quite good fun, first bit of acting I've done in years. I never ever want to see myself in the finished product, of course, but at least it made for an interesting day out.

Anyway, Paul has asked me to write him a film about pirates - which he wants to do the story for - and after a bit of research I now want to do a pirate script for myself too!

I made some notes on the pirates I have in mind (proper historical figures with crazy lives!) and now I need to flesh out some kind of story. Although last night I got over-enthusiastic and started to write the script itself.

Pirates! Arrrrrr!!!

Why are pirates so scary?
They just arrrrrrrrrr!

University

Yay!

I got into the Uni course! I'm super happy! Actually, it's not really sunk in yet that I've been accepted, I can't imagine being back at University at the moment...

So thanks to Andy for recommending the course, otherwise I probably wouldn't have found out about it until the deadline had passed! And thanks to Ewan for being all nice and supportive...

Since it's only you two who read my blog I'm not going to thank anyone else personally - also this feels a bit like an Oscar acceptance speech - but everyone has been very helpful.

I spoke to my manager at work about switching to part time employment from September onwards, and I really hope that it is possible. I don't want to have to look for another job! Plus, if they get someone in as a receptionist or something it will take away all the stuff I do that I intensely dislike doing, so I will be perfectly happy here!

I'm going to have to get a loan to cover my fees, that's the only downside. I've been looking into getting a career development loan, which seems ok.

Woo! I'm going to have a BSc and a MA after my name! Score.

Feelin' Groovy

So my post today is about getting my general groove on, after a week of moping. As yet I have not heard anything back about my Screenwriting application, but I have decided to put it to the back of my mind and stop worrying. It seems to haunt me mostly at the end of the day, when I have the time to re-play the interview in my head. I have devised the most original, witty and intelligent answers to their questions, and I'm enjoying the warm glow I feel when, happy in the knowledge of an interview well done, I leave the dream office with a beaming smile on my face.

Actually, I did leave the interview with a big smile - but only because I was feigning confidence at the time.

(Ah, confidence, my old enemy - why do you thwart me once again? Surely I'm no threat to you anymore?)

Anyhoo, I decided that if I don't get into the course then we definitely try to go on holiday this year (New York here we come, baby!) and I will also treat myself to some clothes and a chest of drawers. So it's a win-win situation. I'm not pretending I don't want to get into the course, that would be foolhardy, but I can cope with the rejection. I think.

I really enjoyed the BBC Radio thing I went to on Wednesday, and I've had a couple of ideas for it too. My problem thus far is that I can't pick a musical hero except for David Bowie - and surely he will be a "normal" choice! It's annoying though, I literally can't get him out of my head to think of anyone else instead. I need to now find some radio scripts and possibly download a couple of radio plays too.

Radio Ga-ga

In a bid to write something a bit more upbeat I'm just writing to say that I'm going to a BBC radio event in Glasgow after work today! Looking forward to it.

This is all I know about it, as yet: BBC Imagine Event

I only asked for a place yesterday and they very kindly gave me one today, so I'm chuffed about that.

I'm also (you may be pleased to hear?) feeling a bit more positive about the Uni thing. Not that I've changed my mind about anything I said before, just that I feel alright now. If I don't get in it's not the end of the world, I can still make a go of this on my own, I think!

Panic

And so the panic has set in...

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!! I don't think I'm in this course, I really don't.

I know that's not certain, but the more I think about the interview the less happy I am. I just keep thinking of all these good things I could have said. I still can't quite remember their questions, but I know I wasn't firm enough in my belief of my own script and proposal. I think I undersold myself so much.

Bugger.

It's my own fault for making this the be-all and end-all of my future for the next year. I shouldn't be relying on it for my happiness, it's insanity. But what if I don't get on? I want to write so much, perhaps I should look at the part-time working route again at the end of the summer, once I have paid off a few more debts. But I just want to gain a professional accreditation so much, to have a formal goal to work towards seems ideal. I know I can still write even without this qualification, but I need it for my confidence.

Ugh. I can't stop thinking about it, it's driving me crazy. Plus my face is all red. Ugh.

Apologies for sounding so sorry for myself, I don't like it either. I'm just being an eejit.

Interview - the aftermath

*sigh*

Well, I had my interview for the Screenwriting MA a couple of hours ago, and I didn't enjoy it. I now can't even remember what we TALKED about, which is no good at all.

I just don't think I spoke enough, I don't feel like I gave the right answers to their questions, and my head is literally swimming with things I could have talked about. The room that the interview was held in was this strange glass box thing, and it was boiling hot inside. I had some water but it ran out really quickly, and I was so hot that I started to feel really sick and flustered.

I'm so disappointed, I worked so hard on the application and I've been worrying about this for weeks now. I really don't think I did myself any justice today, and I'm not going to be able to stop thinking about it.

Why oh why did I even go for this? I'm a muppet, a proper muppet.